The Homeland Tour: Summer 2006

If anyone is in or around the Sonora area from August 13-15 let me know. I'll be in the area after appearing in a friend's wedding. I'd love to catch up if anyone's around.

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I actually quite enjoy being in weddings, but I'm beginning to think that things are a little inequitable. After all, the bride and the groom get to take home a ginormous haul of wedding gifts, and they're usually far too stressed to really appreciate the bounty.

Here's what I propose for the future:

Groomsmen on Commission

Rather than giving the usual wedding party gifts, I think that each of the groomsmen should have their pick from the gift table.

Follow me on this. If, for instance, there are five groomsmen the goods should be split up as follows:

• Best Man - 3 Picks + any Plasma TV shaped boxes
  
• Guy next to him - 2 Picks + one card from the card stack
• High School buddy - 2 Picks + one pruning of the money tree
• Spaced out college roommate - 1 Pick + five minutes on the floor during the money dance
  
• Estranged half-step-brother of the bride - 1 Pick from the obviously re-gifted pile
  

I feel this would be most fair.

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Although this doesn't fit this post, it bears mentioning. At the Egger Wedding, the groomsmen thought it would be a great idea to bring out signs when the pastor asked for the rings.

The signs said, one word at a time: LAST.... CHANCE... DAWN.... RUN!

I think she really thought about it, but I was standing on the hem of her wedding dress.